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The Prosecution: Beth

At times she films me while having a meal. It's jarring to spot myself on her Instagram – it feels like a jumpscare.

My best friend of a decade, she, calls herself the “content queen”. It’s fun for a short while, but it strains our relationship.

She is an extrovert, she feels the need to document everything all the time. When we eat out, she says, “The phone eats first,” and takes photos with bright lighting, which induces embarrassment. It's unpleasant when other people see her performing for the camera – I get vicarious awkwardness. It also frustrates me because meals lose their warmth.

She's not quite an influencer yet, but Marielle is aspiring to become one. She makes video blogs about living in our city, her daily routine, and her styling career. Her content is good, credit where it's due, but I prefer not to be dragged into it. On occasion she films me while dining, or simply tagging along. I’ll see myself on her Instagram afterwards, and it pops up like a surprise: I’ll have bare-faced, an awkward face or be captured mid-bite. It feels invasive.

Marielle also expects me to record her at inconvenient times. Often I'm in conversation to someone else, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. The dynamic feels like our friendship has transformed into me being her free crew. She has the means to hire someone if she wanted high-quality content. When I brought up my discomfort about this arrangement, she brushed it off. She’s taken me to several brand events, which were appreciated, but that doesn’t make up for all the time and effort I invest assisting her make content.

I appreciate that Marielle has supported me with my design career, but I don’t want our connection to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don’t feel she’s fake or dishonest, but at times it seems that if recording starts, we will start performing in a way that presents a favorable image for her vlog.

She will say, “OK, look happy!” and record me laughing with someone. It’s so silly. It's crucial her to recognize that our 10-year friendship still has limits. I enjoy being with her, but I also want to enjoy it without being recorded, edited, or posted for an viewers. I’m not a accessory for her Instagram.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I hope my friend to see that the creations we produce together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about creating videos. It’s not just a pastime; it's integral to who I am. Creating videos and documenting experiences online allows me to express myself and connect with people in new ways.

I don’t see myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to generate income from your interests. I look up to people on social platforms who pull off that aesthetic of informal, self-made content creation.

Content creation is my version of engaging with life: noticing the details, sharing them with an viewership that values the craft behind it. I never intend to make Beth uncomfortable. Bringing her to industry events was my method of sharing opportunities, providing her a opportunity to experience behind-the-scenes moments that could help her career in design too. That’s not leverage, it's simply being pragmatic.

I would take her to such functions even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see the benefits the content we make together can get us: a foot in the door. I understand not all people likes being filmed, but often unplanned moments is what makes material genuine. Being recorded from time to time is part and parcel of being my companion. I'd remove anything she requested, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don't demand anyone to be my private videographer, but friends help each other in minor capacities. I thought recording a short video here or there would be enjoyable for Beth. Innovation thrives in collaboration, and having my friend around makes projects lively and enjoyable. I don't compel her to participate in anything, and I would never intentionally humiliate her. But filming together sometimes is part of how I document our shared experiences.

I cherish our friendship deeply and want to avoid making videos to drive a wedge between us. I’m willing to find middle ground: like requesting permission before recording, and avoiding shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This is not about control, it's regarding expressing my perspective while still considering hers. Obviously content creation is not a substitute for real connection: it’s just part of how I live my life and I desire her to be included in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop filming herself and Beth when they are out together?

Nothing is more excruciating than having a companion film you. I understand that it's her job, but I don’t make friends come to my work. Perhaps she can find like-minded creators to collaborate with. With the dark, looming future of technology, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
Liberty, 25

If you’re doing something professionally, it's unfair to expect your friends for help every time, even if they have helped previously. While she enjoys shooting, that doesn't imply all those around her is willing material. She must to honor her friend's personal space.
Ankit, 26

She may enjoy producing videos and displaying her life online, but it’s not for everyone. It’s nice she has helped Beth’s career, but she needs to listen to what Beth wants.
A commenter, 27

It seems like you care about each other, so hold on to that and ensure it’s the priority in your friendship. Foster some real experiences, where true emotions are stored, not online archives. Even public figures who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more privacy than it appears.
Sarah, 53

Marielle appears to be not fully engaged nor genuine when they're together – she’s working. Each appears confused as to what’s reasonable. The answer is not found in trying to change one another, but in each setting defined limits around what is comfortable to them and determining if there is an mutually agreeable middle ground.
Barbara, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: is Marielle over-exposing their friendship?